I was just starting to feel like, hey it’s been a couple of weeks now so surely we’ve escaped the eldest getting it?
But then, hang on what’s that small red bump? Oh dammit.
F seems totally fine so I carry on with my plans of heading out to see friends.
I drink tequila, do ‘sexy dancing’ and turn up home in the early hours stinking of Burger King. I wonder at what age it will be achievable for me to have a civilised night out? It’s certainly not 35…
It’s Mother’s Day. I’m hungover and would have appreciated a lie in but instead small people come in to prise my eyes open with their fingers.
They have made sweet cards for me but let’s face it they don’t really get the whole point of this do they? Everyone could do with a refresher on the T’s & C’s to be honest. Perhaps re-branding it to ‘Keep The Kids Out Of My F*cking Face Day’ would help a bit?
Later we decamp to my Nana and Pop’s house, a magical place where all illnesses and behavioural issues magically (yet temporarily) disappear.
We get home and have time for a quick game of ‘death-copter’ before bed. I won’t go into the specifics as it’s rather harrowing but let’s just say it’s not one of my favourites.
A not nice day.
F is not at all well and I feel like physically hurting someone due to the amount of Power Rangers I have watched.
When J got back from work I dashed right out the door because we NEEDED some very important supplies such as overpriced seasonal confectionery.
I had a lovely time in Sainsbury’s Local. I felt wild and free! It was a bit like going to a spa in the times before children. If I went to a spa now I would probably just self combust with happiness (HINT F*CKING HINT).
Unfortunately after about 20 laps the security guard started giving me funny looks so it was time to get home and stuff my face with Daim Bar eggs.
It quickly became apparent that we were in for a bad night. Especially soon as S had now has a bad cough and wouldn’t settle either.
So there were four in the bed and the little one said…..
A truly terrifying sentence to hear when you have’t even shut your eyes yet.
No words. Just. Bad. Things. Happening.
Decide to ignore the kids and crack on with my political manifesto.
It needs fleshing out but I feel I made strong start.
Starting to become a bit suspicious about the patient and his increasingly specific demands. Perhaps he is not quite as ill as he is making out?
He also doesn’t seem to appreciate that I cannot get him things if he requires that I am not allowed to move from the sofa.
I decide to give in. We have Malteaster Mini Bunnies for dinner and watch the Lego Batman movie on loop till bed.
Those scabs look scabby enough to me and I’ve had enough of this sh*t so it’s back to school!
And yet now the house is quiet and I have time to work and carry out boring household admin, the spooky silence usurps me and I start to wonder – am I missing my patient?
It’s a funny experience taking care of sick kids. Sort of annoying yet also incredibly humbling all at once. The comforting, the cuddling, the tears, the boredom, the lack of sleep, the feeling the need to punch random inanimate objects and the wanting to take all the pain away and suffer it yourself.
It feels like the purest form of parenting. The sort of stuff that makes your heart strain, too full of love.
So when my boys are lain up poorly on the sofa then my spot is right behind them and you won’t be finding me anywhere else (apart from the odd brief reprise at
the spa Sainsbury’s Local obvs).
**************P.S. My new book The Catastrophic Friendship Fails of Lottie Brooks is out on the 3rd March 2022! It's aimed at 9-12 year olds and you can buy it here :)
I’m writing this with tears running down my face & I look like a loon! Haven’t laughed so much in a LONG time. Brilliantly written & I nodded all the way through as I reminisced *recounted the horror* of our own chickenpox nightmare….. Feel.your.pain x
Love this! And yay for it being over. Although I’ve heard sometimes kids get it twice?! We had a month of hell with it so I seriously hope not! x
THANK YOU for putting into MS paint and actual black and white words how my own week has been with this most horrendous episode.
I almost put a cowbell round the 4 y/o’s neck as we went to the park this week and felt like I HAD to explain to everybody in Morrisons who was looking at her like she was DYING, exactly why she looked the way she did.
Day 7 for me. SURELY the end is nigh!
Cheers and much love :) :*
Love that photo of you wearing your happy-I’m-free-face! :) All mums should wear that face, I was going to say, everyday. But maybe that’s too much to ask for, so I’ll settle for every-now-and-then ;) x
ha ha ha yep sick kids suck until we realise we miss the cuddles without having to bribe them with chocolate!
Ahhhh so glad they are better. It made me chuckle as z is just like this, he becomes a proper cuddled and doesn’t want me to move, yet wants me to somehow get him all the snacks he wants instantly. “Get it mummy, get it, can you hurry, get it, I need it, get it” etc.
Oh this made me giggle – Kitty and Elma had it back to back when Elma was 10 weeks old – by the time I was finished with quarantine periods for nursery and protecting other teeny tiny babies at baby group I’d been in the house for a month – never has a trip to the butchers been so exciting!
So funny, sounds like it’s been a week and a half but I’m so glad you’re at the end. My favourite part about your blog is that I know I can pass it to my husband to read and he will also laugh hysterically. It’s just so relatable. Wishing health to you all xx
So funny Katie!! And hurrah for it being over! My 3 all had it in tandem too. ‘Twas 6 weeks of hell – i can sympathise with escaping to Sainsbo’s for a break! :) Here’s to next week being better! Xx
I love the supermarket. Sometimes I go to the 24 hr tesco and wander round listening to the Muzak and feeling refreshed. It is a truly wonderful experience. If my kids get chickenpox I’m leaving home.
Aaw poor F (and poor you)- this was us before Christmas and it was hell! xx PS that photo is a sight to behold oh-rickshaw-buddy-of-mine ;-)
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE. Made me laugh out loud. As usual. x
You sum up on the whole parenting/patient thing brilliantly Katie – it definitely makes you want to randomly punch things and go mental but also makes you feel ‘worthy’ I guess, needed again. Quite nice really. In a weird, sadistic kind of way. Laughed out loud at Day 6 and 7. Too funny! x
Is it now over? And you’ve SURVIVED! Alas, only one of my kids has had it…balls. ps that photo is the BEST.
Death-copter, Malteser bunnies for tea… I don’t really know what you’re complaining about… LOL x Seriously tho – hope it’s actually over now! Totes jealous of the big bloggy night out too… *sobs* but hey! look at me – i am actually slowly making my way back to blogging after the death of my vagina ;) *pats self on back*
Aw bless, glad they are on the mend. Now, enough of the pleasantries. If you have discovered Spa hints that really work, PLEASE inform me. You’ve got my email address now, us girls have to stick together. I have been hinting about a spa day for approximately 3 years now. *FAIL* there has to be a better way.
thank f**k for Sainsbury’s local I say x
Brilliant as always! I’ve just done the pox with my 4 year old and now waiting for the 2 and a half year old to get it…I suspect she will be a limpet and I will have to give her a piggy back every time I want to leave the sofa.
Hoping she’s ill over the proper Easter break so hubby is home to help!
Aw, laugh out loud and gorgeously heart touching too, loved this x