It’s summer and it’s a good one. Well I say good although its starting to feel a bit bad, because it’s getting rather relentless, It’s too HOT all the time. I’m sorry. How terribly British, to get a wonderful burst of weather and complain about it.
But you see It’s like being on holiday except all the best bits have been removed – no pool, no cocktail of the day and no kids club conga to come and take the small ones off your hands for a couple of hours.
Just lots of hot and lots of kids. And kids + hot = hot kid rage.
You try to do something nice like take them down to the beach but everywhere you look there is rage – sun cream application rage, someone else has a better bucket rage, hat rage, inflatable envy rage, sand in mouth rage, stone in Croc rage, someone holding your head under water for 20 seconds rage and flying ant landing on your arm rage (ok that one was me but!!!! get off my arm).
It always amazes me how many parents persist in negotiating with the rage, ain’t no body got no time for talking in this heat. Best to just stand well back and repeatedly hurl ice-cream until everything goes silent.
But alas even then it’s only a semi permanent cure because at some point you have to go home and experience leaving rage, which is the same as staying rage expect for me it involves pushing 6.5 stones worth of kids, buggy and a bike (that the older one is now too enraged to ride) for a mile in the sweltering heat. Oh and the walk back is uphill. Sometimes I think i might die.
Luckily i usually make it home without dying by which point i don’t really care about the mood everyone is in because they can’t drown or get run over here and that’s two less things to keep tabs on.
I unload the littlest and shout to the biggest ‘TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF IN THE HALL’ before entering the sitting room to see a pile of sand being poured from his pump onto the sofa. The littlest then swiftly pushes past, takes a handful, eats it, spits it back out and cries.
So i decide to make an executive decision and bin off tea because it’s too hot to eat and we all just need to be happy again for a minute. That means it’s ice lollies all round (and i wonder why my kids are so wired).
But who cares because It’s summer and it’s a good one. And i bloody love their rocket lolly faces.
**************P.S. My new book The Catastrophic Friendship Fails of Lottie Brooks is out on the 3rd March 2022! It's aimed at 9-12 year olds and you can buy it here :)