A world cup widow

11 days of emptying bins, crawling out of bed at every waking and taking 2 minute showers whilst hoping nobody tries to kill themselves.

11 days of emptying the dishwasher, figuring out why the TV keeps buzzing and eating cereal for my dinner.

11 days dragging two wayward children out on the banana/yoghurt/milk run and 11 days with no one to pour me a glass of wine after a hard day.

[I am lying here a bit because i had my lovely friend Janie stay with me for 3 nights and also a child free night away in London but that makes it all sound a bit less melodramatic and if i’m honest i have enjoyed playing the ‘woe is me’ card on and off. I have also enjoyed the only farts in the bed being mine]

But it was still 11 days without J and If that was a long time to me then it felt like half a lifetime to a 3 year old. There were 11 days of questions asked; ‘How many sleeps until daddy comes back?‘ and obviously the more important ‘and he is going to get me a really, really big present right?’

There were uncontrollable tears 5 days in. He was waking in the night feeling anxious or afraid of the dark. For the first time in over a year he didn’t want to go to pre-school, too scared that i would leave him too.

The baby didn’t seem to give a sh*t though.

I’ve heard it’s patronising to say to a single parents ‘gosh i don’t know how you do it’ because it implies there is a choice. But i hope it’s ok to say that even for a short time it was hard, and that it makes me fully appreciate all the support i have and respect those with all the support that they are sadly lacking.

Many people have said to J that he is lucky to have such a generous wife, allowing him to go to Brazil. Perhaps they don’t know that i am the lucky one – to have a husband who cooks me dinner EVERY night, who lets me hog the TV and then updates me on my soaps because i wasn’t paying attention, who simply retreats to the kitchen muttering when i am frequently being a d*ck. He is the best husband and hands on father to our boys.

J if you get round to reading this eventually, please promise you will never leave us again – i am bloody useless without you!




P.S. My new book The Catastrophic Friendship Fails of Lottie Brooks is out on the 3rd March 2022! It's aimed at 9-12 year olds and you can buy it here :)


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32 thoughts on “A world cup widow

  1. Dean B

    Aww. This is sweet, the part where you shared what a great hubby he is :) Is he really staying till the end of the World Cup? I thought England fans only stayed till their team is in? It’s actually painful to watch my husband during England matches. You won’t even see him sit down, too stressed and has a perpetual look of anguish on his face. Anyway, your hubby will be home soon! ;)

  2. pottymouthedmummy

    I love this. The texts are by far my favourite!!! I’m the same when Andy travels, though I only have 1 so not so tough I imagine!!! Thanks for giving me giggles on a crap day x

  3. Grenglish

    I can’t wait for mine to come back from Brazil either! For one thing, there is something I need out of the loft and the grass needs cutting… ah, have missed him though! Looking forward to the pressie – I told him to think expensive thoughts! xx

  4. farfromhomemama

    Ha! This is so funny. I always have to ring Paul to find out how to put petrol in the car and I worked in the factory where they made them for ten years!! From being continually left in Switzerland with the kids while Paul worked away, I know how bloody hard it is. Hats off for getting through it.

  5. mylittledreamworld1

    Your text questions are a bit like mine! Lovely post about your husband – there’s no way I’d let my boyfriend to away for that long though (unless he took the kids)! Fab post as always xx

  6. cariemay

    Oh this did make me giggle – especially the questions about the car – I had to ring H once because my steering wheel lock had gone on and I had no idea what it was or how to stop it! And for the record you are a generous wife in happily waving him off to Brazil, and he is also a generous husband in everything he does for you – it sounds like a lovely solid partnership :)

  7. Helloitsgemma

    I’m too self-sufficient. There is nothing I need him for additionally. Except switch the wiiu on, however my 6 year old is more than competent. I may have to remedy this. Clearly my OH needs an area of specialism – in order for me yo notice his absence.

  8. Janelle

    I had a very reflective moment while reading this thinking about how lucky I am to have a husband who puts up with a lot of c**p from me! It sure makes you appreciate them more and what they do. I’m sure you guys are a great team and he’d feel just the same about you (if not more..!) if you were away for that long too x

  9. californianmum

    I can relate, though luckily my husband doesn’t watch sports. But he went away for a week in May (for work), and I missed having him cook dinner every night and cuddle me in bed. Tbh, I was fine with the kids on my own. ha!

  10. Donna

    You are hilarious! If Hubby left me for 11 days the kids wouldn’t be bathed in that time, all we would do is watch TV and they would live off beans on toast! Little bit of exaggerating but not massively. Everything’s better when Hubby’s at home x

  11. Kerrie McGiveron

    Ha ha your texts are funny! Even though I was a ‘lone parent’ for a few years, I honestly would be exactly the same as you if my husband went away for a few days now. It is so easy to become reliant on them – don’t get me started on the TV remote control – not a clue! xxx

  12. brummymummyof2

    Oh bab! You are a marvel! I would have wept a little bit, sacked off bath times, shipped them off to my rents for a weekend. Well done you. He sounds a good un. My hub is lovely too. He does bathtime every night. But don’t tell him I think that xxx

  13. Aileen

    My husband works offshore so is away for 2 weeks at a time. I only have one child and she goes to nursery 3 days a week whilst I work in an office with actual adults which is like a holiday every day! I say on a regular basis I really don’t know how single parents do it and I am not being patronising, I just dont know how they do it without losing their sh*t on a regular basis. My sister lives close by so she does try to help out and if it wasnt for her I don’t know how I would cope! Well done for lasting 11 days with 2 kids and not having liver damage as I know for a fact if we were to have a 2nd child my husband would have to look for a job onshore so that he could be home every night! Hope your kids get big presents :) xx

  14. mummydaddyme

    I completely agree with this and 11 days is a long time to be a solo parent to two kids, especially when you are used to help. Mr E went to germany for 4 nights a couple of weeks ago and I couldn’t wait for him to get back. ;) In all seriousness though I do have the utmost admiration for single parents- it is really hard work and to do it all on your own is even harder. x

  15. Jude

    I love that you’ve published your texts. SO similar to mine when the husband is away, especially the petrol one. I avoiding putting petrol in my car for YEARS after I passed my test (in my 30s) and always left it up to husband. And he cooks me dinner every night. Glad it’s not just me who is totally spoilled. Still, Brazil??? You’ve earned back those dinners and some with that one, my love. Hope you’re cashing in the brownie points. xxxx

  16. Older Mum (@Older_Mum)

    Younger Dad has been working away from home for the last year, so we haven’t had him from Mon – Fri and it makes such a difference; Little A has missed him terribly, and I have to work harder around the house etc. He is back now and that has also made a big difference in a very positive way.

    Congratulations on your BiBs win. Thoroughly well deserved.



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