In the before time I used to work in digital marketing, planning and implementing advertising campaigns. One of the key parts of my job was securing the best deal on behalf of my clients budget so you may assume me to be well versed in the art of negotiation.
It is true that since the communication levels of the eldest became more developed i have relied heavily on my trusty aforementioned friend (AKA bribery) as means of ‘getting stuff done’.
You know, eat your dinner and you get your pudding, brush your teeth and you get an extra story, stop being such a little sh*t or mummy will run off and leave you – that kind of stuff.
It works, sometimes, but it relies on the principle of a meeting of common goals or reaching a win-win situation. I don’t think he quite gets that bit yet.
He does however get the whole concept of deals and what is in them for him, but when he tries to broker them himself he negates to include any give on his side. i.e: –
‘If the baby eats all his peas can i have ice-cream for pudding – is that a deal?’
‘If you put all my toys away then can i go on the i-Pad – is that a deal?’
‘If i get to take Lightning McQueen to bed then you can you kiss him goodnight – is that a deal?’
These so-called trades are delivered in a singey songey voice, with a cock of the head, eager eyes and a full force pronunciation of ‘IZ that a DEEE-AL?’
I’m not sure what has happened to the steel like determination and cut throat nature I used to posses as one of those career people. I’m confused! It seems there is a strong correlation between the ridiculousness of the deal and the likelihood of it being agreed to :-/
‘If you moo like a duck then can we run around the garden in circles before bed – IZ that a DEEE-AL?’
‘moooowack – lets go!’
It turns out I am only human.
And it turns out he is fully on the ball, despite the impression he gives off. For random humour is always key to getting what you want. At least with me.
I doubt that bits in the parenting 101.
Oh and for what it’s worth I also suspect there is a strong correlation between the likelihood of agreeing to batsh*t crazy requests and the respect one commands as a parent.
I guess I should adapt my approach. But then again, wheres the fun in that?
**************P.S. My new book The Catastrophic Friendship Fails of Lottie Brooks is out on the 3rd March 2022! It's aimed at 9-12 year olds and you can buy it here :)
Love the cow duck! I know just the face when they say is that a deal – O kind of has a big grin on his face and is nodding his head slightly
Ha ha yep exactly that!
Ha ha ha! Love your graph! This is brilliant. Both my big boys on antibiotics and they make deals for every dose they take (it’s a yucky one, not banana-y goodness). I think so far we are going to Legoland Denmark and buying a life size Lightning MxQueen…x
Crikey what have you got yourself into Wry! You are worse than me ;)
Oh dear, your son is on to you! And looks like he’s got your talent for negotiating and sealing deals too. I guess you’ll just have to come up with something new then ;)
Sounds like he’s really on to something!
So cute! Parenthood is one massive negotiation though, isn’t it?! I truthfully think if Barack handed it all over to me, I’d have it sorted in five ;) Your little man sounds like he’d have me twisted round his little finger too though! :)
Ha ha, you are welcome to try him out for a bit if you like :)
Where’s the fun in that? :) I’m a big fan of the ridiculous deals! That’s just great, your son will be an expert negotiator!
Ha ha this cheered up my commute home no end. I tried to broker a deal with the toddler to sleep in his own bed by saying id buy a Jessie toy (toy story). What have I become!??!
Ha ha. You needed have explained the Jessie toy, I am well versed in you story!! ;)
Ha you never know!!! ;) anyway he’s not getting it, he didn’t fulfil the deal. Sod
I’ll go for any deal that means chocolate or going outside! Kinder eggs in the park feature regularly as reward in the house, for pretty much any behaviour that’s remotely acceptable.
me too! Weirdly F doesn’t like kinder eggs – freak! x
It’s when they start with the threats that things get serious. Eg. “If you don’t let me have that chocolate I’ll scream and scream and scream” or “If you don’t take me to the park I’ll do a poo in my knickers on purpose”. Uh-huh. Terrifying.
Um, i think we might stick to making deals then! So glad he hasn’t cottoned onto threats yet :-/
Ah it’s only crazy to us; to a toddler it’s a completely rational and fully logical argument! And if we didn’t agree to the utterly bizarre where would all the fun have gone!
I always said I would never be one of those mums who strike deals with their kids (i.e.- bribes) but I do it all the time. My whole life has become one long bribe. And I know the feeling of the deals, Mads has cottoned on to saying ‘is that right?’ and ‘promise?’ all the time! x
This is hilarious. I promised LP chocolate in exchange for letting me put sun cream on her today… It was one of those days! x
So far none of my deals ever work… so I eat her easter eggs in front of her face instead… mwahahahaha :) x
Is that a deal is a favourite here too – cheeky monkeys!! My little girl ALWATS asks “how many?” when I say she can have a biscuit or something. He sounds like a bright little fella who is going to rule the world one day. Very cute x
ha ha yes we get ‘how many’ too and also he wants physical exchange of goods before he completes his side of the deal – he’s so suspicious!
I love this.
He is a good deal broker xx
And cash in on this little bit of innocence for as long as possible. It no longer works for my lot! If you do this, I’ll do that….love it! Have to be honest though, humour and wit get my kids out of a lot of trouble too ;)
No deal! Children are bonkers. Love the your graph x
Stupid me rushing. I meant *your* graph. And I promise to type s-l-o-w-l-y next time. Not enough hours in the frigging day, clearly x